Hey Grubhub, I Just Got Catcalled and Would Like Ramen and Also to Shoot Things

Order from:
Jinya Ramen Bar

Deliver to:
Righteous Cunt HQ
(Home Address)

Deliver It: 
ASAP

(1) Spicy Creamy Vegan Ramen
+ Add Mushrooms
+ Add Poached Egg
+ Add Pork
+ Combination (Tokyo Curry Rice and Salad)

Special Instructions:
- Buzzer broken - I punched it - so please call my cell. 
- If I don't answer, it's likely due to Linkin Park's One Step Closer blaring on repeat in the kitchen while I rage-shower, so just stand outside my window holding the bag above your head a la Say Anything until I come down.
- I will be naked. This is to counteract the impulse to hide in every piece of clothing in my closet.
- If you're a man, please only look at me cross-eyed; it's funny and non-threatening and if I can't tell where you're looking, I can't get mad at you for looking there. 
- I may say some things I wish I had had the wherewithal to spew at that piece of shit who told me I had a "nice thick ass, by the way" (instead of just turning around and screaming "FUCK YOU!" and storming off, which is what I did.) 
       *NOTE: nothing is required of you in response. Don't apologize, don't tell me what you would have done to him had you been there, don't tell me you've never done that and don't understand anyone who would. Just listen. If you must say something, just say it sucks. That'll do nicely.
- If you're a woman, I hope you're getting paid. 

[x] Spare me the napkins and plasticware. I'm trying to save the earth.
(It'll make it that much more satisfying when I set it on fire later.)